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A young girl heads through the doors of the local arena, stick and bag slung over her shoulder and heads down to the dressing rooms to gear up for the game. Thankfully, the question is no longer, ‘what is she doing there?’ but rather ‘what team does she play for?’ Does she play on an all-girls team or does she hit the ice alongside the boys? It’s also a question you might be considering for your daughter as the start of the season nears.

I went to the boy’s side of the game based on several factors, not the least of which was a simple circumstance of the lack of a girl’s team in my community. I don’t regret the decision to play with boys and later with men, as my experience was that it elevated my game in various ways. In fact, I often sought out men’s teams as I went further in my career in order to hone certain aspects of my game. However, many girls these days head directly into the girls dressing rooms without much thought about playing with boys. I am happy that today it is an option for young girls coming into the game to do either, but it is precisely that – an option – a decision to made with many factors to consider.

The female hockey purist would of course say that females should play in female hockey for a whole host of reasons, not the least of which that in order to solidify the female game we need the best female players playing in female leagues, which will then attract the best coaches. While I agree that is important, and is an uphill battle in the female game, that alone is not reason enough to make the decision to enroll your daughter in a female league.

The ability to choose opens a world of opportunity, but it may also cause anxiety for families trying to make that decision. As a parent, I can relate to only wanting the best for your child and if I had to make the decision, here are some of the factors I would consider.

Your local community/league/MHA – From an absolutely practical standpoint, if there are not enough female players in your community for your MHA to form a female team, don’t let that discourage your daughter from playing hockey. I played with boys my whole career until I joined the National Team and think that despite some bumps and bruises I am a better player for it.

Your child’s emotional maturity – Some girls are emotionally mature enough to handle all that could come with playing with the boys and some aren’t. Will your daughter be the type to never hold back her game and stand up for herself when she is perhaps teased by her teammates? I was relentlessly teased not just by the boys, but harassed by parents. While at times it was a challenge, it also taught me phenomenal life skills such as resilience, pride, self-confidence, etc. However, if your daughter is more on the timid side and likely to hold back or sit back on a bench full of boys, then perhaps you should consider an all-girls team.

The skill level of your daughter – Some girls may not be physically able to keep up to the boys due to great differences size or physical strength, and having them play with boys may become discouraging and perhaps even dangerous. The younger and more ‘beginner’ she is, the less that this is a real consideration. It does, however, become more and more of a factor as your daughter gets older and is playing in the higher divisions. The magnitude of this consideration is totally one that is on a case-by-case basis and depends more on skill than on physical size.

On the note of skill, if you are hoping for a more elite hockey future for your daughter because she is quite skilled, one thing you should not be worried about or consider as a factor is exposure to coaches or scouts. If your daughter is good enough and skilled enough to be getting notice from elite coaches and scouts, playing on a female team or a boy’s team is irrelevant to those that are watching.

Your child’s wishes – If you are making this decision this season for your daughter, I would implore you to instead make this decision with your daughter, rather than for her.

Where does your daughter want to play? While you as a parent can provide her with information about both possibilities, if she’s comfortable and happy playing on either side does it really matter, as long as she is playing the game and drawing benefit from the experience?

Also remember, particularly if your daughter is just starting her hockey experience, that once a decision is made that it need not be a life-long commitment. Your daughter can start off playing in one direction, immerse in that experience, and at a later date make the decision to play the other. What matters more is her decision to be headed to the dressing room to get into the game at all.

I think it’s wrong to force girls to play with girls and boys to play with boys. The bottom line is that players should play where they feel the most comfortable and where they get the amount of ice time, skill development and exposure that they are looking for – wherever that might be.

Hayler Wickenheiser is a four time Olympic medal winner with Team Canada’s National Women’s Team. She is arguably the most respected and recognized woman player in the world. She has been a regular contributor to Hockey Now for several seasons. Follow Hayley at www.facebook.com/22wick